3 +1/2 hours of sleep n 12.30hours of work

yesterday.......i had so lil sleep .....

we went to Malacca....to get Omer's cousin..

he was crying to get back to kl..

and now going back to Pakistan...

poor thing coz it was suppose to be a fun trip and his sister passed away.

and he is so scared that he will miss his flight..

keeps insisting that he has to go int he morning...

Omer so excited that he would be leaving to Melbourne...

so I guess ....it is happening right now...

everyone is leaving me:(......

I dont want to get new friends...

its so depressing afterward.......just dont get close to anyone would be the best....

sighhh .....life.

as soon as college starts I would be a nerd and study so much...no more time for hangouts.....

I miss my active lifestyle tho..

makes me feel so good

Three Idiots...the movie

It was a hindi movie I watch yesterday..

with three friends..

Omer,Umer and Altamash..

the meaning of umer@omer apparently means AGE>...

so I understood them as ageing..

and Altamash means Kind@leader...something like that..

with my respect is said as..alampana..

so Altamash alampana:)lol..

anyway we has kebab my favorite one in front of mentari and was great...

right after we headed to Pyramid and bought movie tickets....

This movie actually awakens parents on not to force their children into something that they are not interested in.

It also teaches that...studying does not mean memorizing....

which is how some people are...

no understanding but....just purely memorize.

BUt its when u memorize that u forget 1word and you are totally screwed!

I learn that for my guiding speech...

I remember the points and I just spoke....

when u have your points its possible to elaborate......

well after the movie they had a smoke,I sat on the Ogawa massage chairs while waiting at 3am...

the guards came to me saying..

u cant sit here i said ok..jsut waiting for my friends to smoke..

and once they saw me at the door and wanted to close...the door.

i ask are u closing?

coz we want to go to the car from this door...and they are still smoking!

the guard saw them and say nevermind la its ok..

he told his friend that the door is spoild..m not sure really or he got scared seeing those three..lol

hilarious...coz he was ssshhhuuuuying me away until he saw them:P

anyway woke up this morning to get nai n yea breakfast then..

back to bed..texted omer no reply so i figured...just cont sleeping..

was so sleepy anywayz..

then omer text saying its ok coz...

his cousin would b back to hotel in the evening only!

n now here i am awake

It's Christmas now.....

How I wish I had my family suddenly..hmm

I miss mum and dad now..somehow...

and my french family...

especially my brother:(

Its been two Christmas in A row we celebrated together and this year.....

we arent meeting up..so sad...

I miss those moments....

I wish we were nearer to each other and we could meet up for weekend activities if time even permits...and adventure plans;) like we always do....

I miss Christmas now.....:(

Hopefully next year would be a nicer Christmas for me...but yet to know....

I hope that i have some friends with me....or mum n dad..:(

mum and dad are in Chiangmai atm...so nice .hoping that they would have had fun with all the stress accumulated at home.

Miss my brooooooooo:(

Anyway Merry Christmas to all of you that celebrates out there

Avatar

It was a great movie indeed....

catched up with an old friend....

he came from outstation...

took him to Shazz opposite pyramid and he ordered 2plates of rice with chicken...

i dont take ricesooo...sorry

m eating my dosai and tandoori..

tandoori sucked too much fat in chicken ..

coming back to movie...

animation+real was great..

but i wonder why couldnt they make the avatars prettier or bttr looking?

hmm..other than that was nice...

alot of action...

Head to McD after...hangout for abit more..

felt bad leaving...him ...

but i cant stay was so sleepy and parents would b so worried if they findout!

jogging?

what jogging really is>?

they say eat less to loose weight?

ya but some people say have several meals a day?

what really would lead to the loose of fats?

doesnt skipping meals make sense u tend to loose those fat?

coz u are nOT eating?

its weird sometimes ........

how things work...

sigh.........

rather be anaeroxic........

but that would never happpen:(

fun almost at the end

I think that life is a circle..ups and downs..

when u are happy there would be some that you are not...

when u are sad there would be something good that would come into your way as well...

2nd night has came,...it was a great hotel we checkin to today...

it was called Holidayvilla at Cherating....

so much nicer.cleaner for the same price.

I am so impressed...well we are...

swam the whole day...

m so sleepy now..and its only 1am...i was since dinner...

before dinner i actually had a sleep....

Cherating arrives

After we arrived and finally got our room we went to the beachside...
Discussing on where to stay...
Omer very excited with his new toy at a hotel we were thinking off...
peaceful &happy
Dont know what was this about....

SO finally exams are over....

i got an honourable pass...

which is 2ranks lower than the highest...I am to be higher in my degree now.

And finally the day awaited for..Cherating?!?

has finally arrived.

WE(Jeanie,Ali,Omer) drove from K.L to Cherating.

Omer...was asking the whole way how long more do we have to drive?

when are we reaching?Maybe we should go back.

Ate 3packs of chips and chocolates...

Jeanie was 80% of the journey asleep!..lol..

Oh ya Omer,he finished up Jeanie's Merci Chocolates.

And today during lunch he was telling us that he is eating less these days.LOL..

Ali he just laughed at everything...and he drove after me..what a relief..

After when we reached Cherating area again i took over the wheel..

thinking of where to stay...we went to this resort by the name of Rubi's resort.

It's at the entrance at Clubmed just that it goes to the left..at 5am it was sooo eerrie..

I am never going there.ever again!!!

another place we surveyed was this place called...Bali resort i think..

It was so scary...i thought that I was going to die..:(

but i survived huh..hmm

too many pictures we took...all over

Spend the whole morning sleeping...

Omer snored like a PIG>...i couldnt sleep after even with a pillow covering my ear!it was that loud okay..

Drove to look for food, to look for another hotel on tomorrow night!!!

so many stuff..hmm...

so yea it was alot of here n there..hehe

I loved it today coz finally we got to the beach:D

and now...I am waiting for my turn to shower....chill and....stinking...

What a relief

Exams are half way done...i am so happy...

I can finally smile....

except that....today is CRS and my tour packaging really worries me...

god b with me.

I am also excited about getting away...away from Malaysia actually but if its just away from home why not...:)

What should i wear this morning...the same question i have every morning...

feeling so lazy atm...

i just want to sleep sooo much man....

Finals of my diplome de tourisme

finally so close to an end...yet not..

we have about 8more days till it all ends and i will be jumping with joy

the end has to come someday...

and cherating....

here I come...

exams somehow not so worried...just hope to score better....than trials which i sucked

but...I know that the trip after exams would be so wild..

White water rafting?

I want to try this...

I need more exposure to all this things......

I m too into one side of things...boring!!!

anywayz.....

I am sure that I will be having fun in this...but rM180 IS IT EXPensive?

hmm..

other than that finals are soooo over at that time..m so excited now

SIngapore?

Cant wait for trials and exams to be over..

gosh I am like the happiest person after..

travel n travel...

the world...is going to be so happy now:)

first after exams concentrate on food intake

Tony Thomas..is the best~!#@%##%

Okay here goes...
we were sitting in class and tony our lecterur asked us about our trial exams=2nd year end..
we said tuesday...
he said we have his exams on monday...
but in the timetable...1st exams starts on tuesday...
now we are confused and he is raising his voice at us!
He is so weird...everything I ask is wrong...and just get SHUT OFF...
he can never listen to anything i ask or say...
he's an ass...
Then the exam unit lady came to our class after he went to her to complain ...
we werent paying attention!
He's a pain in the arse...
I hate him to the max...
he is such an idiot...
everything i say is wrong

The movie Michael Jackson

It's been tiring..all week standing.....

but I still look forward to it....

it's life nothings easy...

so yesterday i went for class at 9am the night before only got to bed at 2am..

After class it was such a relieve to have a short nap.

I woke up had some food and head off for aerobics....

geez tht stuff is difficult....

its not that tiring but the coordination and when u are required to do it fast...

omg all over the place!

i sucked at it....love pilates tho...

hmm.....i guess as a cyclist u put power into the pedals and thats about it..

when it comes to grace....

aha...so ungraceful and....stiff

but I'm quite flexible in that sense...

so finally after aerobic went to watch the movie..

Michael Jackson...i thought like errr ok but why not..

It seriously was nice because...now i understand why people are so sad and stuff...

He's really good...

never realize that he is so skinny too...

It was very entertaining..but after the halfway mark I was so sleepy and cant wait to go to bed...

:P

still Michael Jackson now I would say is a legend:)

maybe I've moved on

..LOng day and yes working my ass off...
is tiring...

i should do some exercise too...

hate being fat...

and getting fatter...

my stomach is like a time bomb atm...

when i'm tired...god i tend to eat and eat..

what to make me stop...

a normal lifestyle perhaps:)

uhuh....

n gym lots of it at least 2hours a day i think..

I love the fact m not thinking so much anymore

just enjoying life and...

I have to study too exams are so near now...

towards final and will be doing my degree soon..

finally my life means something:)

but my legs...

i just hope that the scar will go off:(

never going to ASIA CAFE...

filthy place!

yuck

Retarded legs

the morning was not so bad!!!!
This second picture is at night...
I have no idea where i sat for the past few days @ hangout at...

i know that my legs are fugly and disgusting..

i got an allergy...

and its freaggin itchy!

I hope it cures soon coz i cant freaggin stop thinking that its itchy..

other than that mum got back from London today:)

PATHETIC Indo lady at Ayam Penyet

It was lunch today...wanted to eat out...

went to Ayam Penyet RIA...Mentari business park area,...

as we were eating..jeanie ,zamu n fatah...

there was this lady with her maid and 2sons..

they were screaming n running n rollling on the floor.

I went n said to her could u please keep them down because its very noisy and people are eating here...It was just so annoying her kids...

then she just make dont know!!!

anyway after running running one of her sons vormitted....eeuuwww..

then when the non vormit kid came near outside of the restaurant she said out loud come here...

there's a witch there...

and her son went over...

then he stared our side...

then he came here again and she repeated the same...

then the small boy ask...

where's the witch mummy i dont see it...

she said there, so dont go there...

then he screamed out loud...

NO WITCH mommy NO WITCH...

I dont see a witch....lol...

poor kid so innocent that has a dumb mother..

loooll...

when it happen i cant stop laughing....

it's like she has no one to turn to...and had to talk to the 4@5year old kid!!!

to attack us

He's just not that into you the 'movie'

I watch the movie...

was proposed by my sister...

i realize something now...

not necessarily he has to be what i want him to be,....

but what matters most is I am happy with him..

the fact is....it's been over a year,

I've been with several guys...but I dont feel the same about things....

and everytime i think of the past i just feel like crying...

why was i so stupid to even breakup?

it's too late now...he has someone else...

I am just a dumb soul now....

stuck...screwed...

I thought i moved on...until i watch this movie ..

i feel so sad all over again...

sigh...I wish that time could be reversed....

scary dream

i dont know what this dream was all about but somehow i woke up frightened..
i finally got some answers to things as well as relationships .
I think its trying to tell me dont trust someone that u already dont trust from the start..
coz use your instincts...
never hesitate ....make up my mind and go on..
I woke up and realised it was just a dream feeling all sad about it...
got ready for college and then i realised that....
i am early!
like i told the whole class that the morning class is canceled but I came!
how dumb....
it was from the dream...
also i always believe that...what goes around comes around!
when u do something back it comes back..:(
sometimes we dont have to wait till death to findout....
i am so exausted..
i could have had that extra hour @ 2 of sleep

Semester 6

the start of a new semester has came...

we had a really great regional tour..

going to laos was great fun..

felt the unity of the call finally...

I figured things out from the trip...

my brain is finally clear...

i know what i want..

i know what to aim...

whats next...

thankfully again i have my family and really good friends supporting me

thank god for all the goods i have

Exams for term5 OVER

I am so happy exams over,over and we have 1week break..

right after exams yesterday after dinner I went to the gym again...felt so good working out hard without needing to think about anything!

FInally i have time to attend to my new bike....to get bottle cages and hopefully a new saddle soon. Maybe not this month but next....

All this while I had to use the old one because new one was incomplete....only able to go on an hour ride with it...

bringing nai n yea for lunch.....then....i want to pop by the bike shop...?

Start my long rides tomorrow.....so excited...i miss my long riding sessions

Had visitors and then boom exam!!!

during last weekend my friends from australia came down..

looking at their faces from these pictures its predictable that it was fun having company...

I miss them now....its been after such a long time no crazy weekend...no fun....

The first picture was when we went jungle trekking into Kuala Khubu Baru area during my off day from riding...it was fun man..climbing up those steep ground and crossing the water flow various times.....

after one of my half day rides, we went to melaka....

brought them to visit a few places..like the St Paul's Church, the Cheng Ho museum...its very educational because gives me a little bit more interest in history!

However this museum is owned by a SIngaporean....he actually leaft some of his antique sewing machine's that has nothing to do with this museum at all....how weird....

the may that excorted us...aka tour guide said....my bos leaft it here because there are too many in his house..:S now how weird is that???

ANyway...we went on to ice kacang stall infront of Stadhuds(Red Building) left by the DUtch however...according to MR Timo...my lecterur its not originally red its painted rain to resemble the dutch!! then we moved on to Jonkers street...looking for slipper and realised that it was time for....dinner...Farah my classmate came along....

She had to break fast now where are we going to look for halal food in Chinatown?????

okay there was this shop saying NO PORK...thank god...after walking for ages....

went in ate....and BURP....out...back to Kuala Lumpur..

AFter Melaka...mum brought them to visit chinatown the next day....really didnt have much time at all....:(

right after they left....i had exams...Tourism Operation to create an itinerary in 2 and half hours...and i didnt get it ready in time....so sad....was one of the only ones...

anyway...its over now no use crying over spilt milk is there!

And for the rest of the week...its going to be exams and exams...

Now I am feeling like a student

I got visitors

My friend from Melbourne came down to Kuala lumpur via Singapore..after travelling from Italy..
he came with his girlfriend Katia....
m so entertained..:D
i have school ad training to do as well though....
hmm....
have to stop eating crap...lol
will be taking them to visit a few interesting places....and tomorrow is going to be a big day ahead...
other than that college is great..left with only my law assignment:)

my sponsor

been preety busy this weekend with classes and assignments mainly..

went down to singapore on the weekend via Muar....took like 4hours kept stoping.

HAsry express...sucks...water leaking...onto seats...make my whole pants WET..and stained..looked like my period overflow..

anyway just as i reached lavendar@kalang....waited for Kit..after he arrived dropped me off at Novena and onto the bus to Kuala Lumpur....thanx to Kit who picked up my bike from Sean(my sponsor)

ACC Tenggarong, Indonesia the worse

Right after Mini Olympics I felt sick...fever didnt ride for about 5days include travelling and stuff...
I was sick, so sick..and till now I am still coughing.
the journey to Tenggarong took the whole day from Malaysia...with transit at jakarta then to the domestic flight which was Balikpapan airport.
Once reached from the airport it took us 3hours and 30mins to reach Tenggarong....the roads were continuous hills and corners...
It made me feel so sick...i vormitted 3times...
We reached finally and I was only able to sleep at 4am.
The next morning team meeting I had to wakeup early 8 in a room,1 toilet!
the lights were on by 7am...i had 3hours of sleep breakfast...then it was back to bed another 2hours plus because of noise etc....lunch and we had training that afternoon....
i feel half alive....after training we had to walk 1km plus to get back to our rooms under the hot sun. Like really humid sun.
Had dinner I slept by 9am, i was so tired..
the next morning had to wake up early and go to the track by 7.45am track warm up and event to start....
my event supposedly starts about 11plus did not start...
The race had a break because it was sunday and they had to have their prayers!!!!
After their prayers it rained and the velodrome got wet....we had to wait and wait and wait....
i only started my event at 4.20pm. By then I was so tired and exausted from the humidity..and lack of sleep.
I did a 4mins 18seconds....with front disc and back...this is really shitty!
the next day with some hope in myself, i rode the scratch...got overlapped was my first time getting lapped in a scratch....i feel like shit!
about 1hour plus later was the point race....i did so bad.....i got lapped as well with no points....
for the final sprint trying to lead my teamate into the sprint she crashed!.....no luck at all...
This acc is the worse acc i ever experience in my life....
After the race waited till 12pm got back to hostel pack stuff waited...did not leave till 1am then by the time we shifted to hotel was 2.15am....i was feeling nausea...i vormitted again!
no food after lunch till after vormitting!!!!
The next day i slept the wholeday in Samarinda...it was near the road race and itt road venue..
After the whole day of sleep on the 16th,17th i followed to watch road ITT...feeling feeling afterwards...
yesterday 18th our hourney from tenggarong to balik papan i manage to sleep the whole way...
i took a PIL..:)
i wish i had this before....sighz....
right now...i am still exausted...got my period,headache....just wish things could have been better for me!
I still think everything happens for a reason

after mini olympic

....couldnt blog yesterday wonder why....
hmm anywayz....i was so sick saturday night turning in to sunday...
sunday morning rang mum to pick me home...she came with dad so dad drove my expired car..
and we all went home..
i slept frm 9plus to 3.50pm
ate porridge lunch..
slept at 5pm to 8.30pm
ate dinner slept at 11pm
i slept so much...
this morning i went to french class...
my head is still spining...
classes canceled...
business math,law canceled....
so......well.........
as for this case....
i got an MC.....
willl go to gym at 3pm..do some stretching..
meeting at 4pm.....
thank god almost no more fever...or i will feel even shittier

picked up from NST by Arnaz

Uracca finally gets her gold
2009/08/08
Arnaz M. Khairul

URACCA Leow finally got to savour her first Mini Olympics gold medal when the 23-year-old was in dominant form, sweeping aside the opposition in the women's 24km points race at the Kuala Lumpur Velodrome yesterday.
Uracca Leow romped to 105 points total in the women’s 24km points race at the Kuala Lumpur Velodrome yesterday.
She missed out on a medal in the women's individual time trial on Wednesday after being told to stop almost near the finish as marshals had led other riders starting behind her on the wrong route. A tired Uracca opted out of the restart then.Uracca started yesterday by posting the fastest time of four minutes 12.805 seconds to top the qualifying for her pet event, the 3km individual pursuit, which was a long way off her own national record of 3:50.896s set at the Asian Games in Doha in 2006.But the points race saw Uracca running peerless as she romped to a 105 points total, overlapping the rest of the pack twice with solo breakaways. Second placed Nurul Ahmar Badeuzzaman scored 43 points while third placed Jupha Somnet took her bronze medal on 19 points.
"The points race win was good, but I'm still trying to get back into form after having to juggle between my studies and training.
"My time in the individual pursuit was 20 seconds faster than what I clocked at the National Championships, but it's also a long way off my best," said Uracca, who took home the bronze medal from the 3km individual pursuit at last year's Asian Championships."Since I've only really been back in full training mode for three months, I've just trained for this event, and I'll start tapering for the Asian Championships after this. Hopefully there, with an indoor track, I'll be able to bring the times back down."Yesterday's main attraction, the men's 200m sprint qualifying up to semi-finals, saw an intense battle between national elite squad rider Edrus Yunus and Hafiz Sufian, which went to a tie-breaker. Edrus eventually beat Hafiz to make the final today, where he will meet Junaidi Nasir, who beat Harrif Salleh in their semi-final match-up yesterday.Results -- Women's 24km points race: 1 Uracca Leow (Sel) 105 points, 2 Nurul Ahmar Badeuzzaman (Sel) 43, 3 Jupha Somnet (Per) 19.

friends do turn around

I use to think that people say watch out your friend might eat you.
I realise as I get older day by day,
everything seems to make more sense when I age.
I use to not understand or see the importance of why should i train so hard.
but now i do,
time is running up,
I finally have to train hard to be the best or just forget about it for real.
i also realise that nothing else can make me happy,
it's myself..
my achievement is not comparable with any other things in this world.
Every hardwork i put into my daily program, will be worth it.
I think this whole year,
this month is my most enjoyable month so far.
I have no internship, no college just training.
I kind of like this life,
it's only a few hours of toughness and then you get to relax.
working is the wholeday!
college the same,thinking of break in between classes is even worse....
and never trust anyone

seriously shit weekend

iissshh what a day..woke up this morning body aches...
tired frm racing...
feel so lazy,....dont want or just go trng
??
then MALAS tangga kegagalan...remember what Azizul told Tya...lol
and merajinkan diri la...
g trng...budget 100-120km naik van so....bawa baju sluar...
after 40km plus hills kena tinggal here and there hold the van then okay la juga...
at 68km on Azian's meter and 73km on Mariana the hill again
i stood up chain fling...drop one gear was okay..
ride 4strokes the chain fling off sat on the toptube.....
legs hit the handlebars lost control, went left into Ahmar's rim.....and bye2.........
down hindustan film started rolling...
Azian from the back i think hit me as well...
ohh god....I have no idea...how it happen so fast..
now m bruised on the left shoulder....on my precious buttocks...
hurts like hell cant sit...and feels like its going to cramp...yer...
hope it gets good quick...
have gym in the morning...better not be sore

disaster weekend

At this moment i feel like shit..
i lose time trial 4seconds to a junior..
and for the first time loosing time trial..
this is shit..
I didnt have enough time for warmup..and also lack of training...
Todays road race.10km lap x5 of putrajaya..
many attempts of breakway i tried and those that did i chased..
in the end...I got 4@5...
sad...but true...
before the race...saw 'his' pathetic gf...wide ugly eyebrows...
sitting beside each other...like a picnic....
its suppose to be a race tho...
whatever...passed...
I just want to train really hard and so hard...
I just need to win now..
makes me angry and I want more..
more....winning..
i want to win and be only the best

medicine or what?

today's another day...
I overslept....
I wonder is it the medication I had or what?
hmmpphh...
I ended up on ergo again....
then had gym in the afternoon..
Psycologist...Hasmah Yusoff is quiting...her career with Isn....
she's been 12years with national sports council...
i always find it easy talking to her...
somehow...
This weekend there will be racing at putrajaya...
under 23 again..
whats with this races I wonder whos the organizer....
i am just under age for it.how lucky....
hmm....tomorrow how far should i ride?
since friday evening theres racing..said to have a timetrial....but what i heard was criterium as well....confused~!!!

What a Day~!!!!

Of all days today...
hmm this morning work up as usual at 6plus thought that there would be training...
instead had to do testing....went back to bed..
then did testing at 11.45am...finished closed to 1pm...
This years best result of my 5 mins and 20mins timetrial..
mentally stronger or....training more effective?
I reckon some of both!
This afternoon had another training session was hard but satisfying....love the torture...
feels so good.....I decided have a quick shower go to daddy's place earlier...makan maggi...
but hurrrmmmpphhh....
at the lights after TTDI market...my clutch broke....
the thing..would not come up again....damn sad....at the lights i drove at gear one....realised can changed into heavier gear which I did..to move alil faster...then...after 2 long long stretches....my car died!
I couldnt changed the gear into 1 in time..dammit....
I had to push the car in the traffic...was embarassing...and I realised....
Glenn was behind me...I rememberd he said about coming to my rescue on facebook and I said dont want..and now..hahahah...he even bought me teh o ais limau...kekeke...
thank you uncle glenn....
Am at TTDI....at dad's place...waiting for ex-colleague for dinner.....
apparently they just finished some stuff and will b late...lol....
Thankfully am already here....
starving....lol....

another weeks over

This week has been easy training however doesnt feel easy!
after Perlis due to lack of sleep this week feels extremely tiring..omg..
have been coughing nonstop...
I feel happy that its over...
next week will feel harder..
there's a test on Tuesday aftn..i have no idea why..
I thought that I am under Fairoz and I should follow john's program?
this means i cant train morning and aftn...
m still coughing...
tomorrow will b a long day again!!!
:)

Perlis Open Woman Tour

First stage result total of 80km

4th placing on first stage

After 3weeks of training and an intense week of work last week .Perlis Open race finally started for me and ended today. The first stage I admit wasnt easy due to lack of training. I was stuck in between the bunch and have to move around quite a bit before i reached the finish line. At about 50m to ending i realised I was most infront..I was so happy...but just before reaching...3people over took me..how sad..ended up third thought there isnt a prize for 4th but there is....so thank you. This pays off my bus ticket from Perlis to Kuala Lumpur.

Stage 2 of the race was a 74.9km with the average speed of 35kmph. There was quite a few breakaway attempts. One break which had a few of every strong riders in it. There was no Selangor but..the team i ride for. I realised that I have to start chasing....i worked with Kazakhstan and we started chasing...though they had 1 rider in the break they did work coz i think that was not their sprinter on the front!!!.....close to the front group everyone stopped working, i attacked and caught up with breakaway group continue riding with breakaway group for about...more than 5km...and finally slowed down all exausted and back to main group..

ending bunch sprint was up front about 500m to go no where to hide...i turned out..11@12...aint good that morning. This was the day we had to wear walkie talkies omg...couldnt stand it,...every small thing they would speak..i plugged it off after 10km...too noisy make me loose my concentration.

Had lunch then rode back and 1hour of nap before afternoons criterium...

3rd stage was the criterium with total of 49.5km and 3.3km per lap...with 1 neutral lap. I tried the first sprint didnt manage to gain any points.rigth after the first lap after the corner i broke off from the group solo....it wasnt easy at first as they were chasing....but after a while they stoped .However going into the 3rd lap ,sprint lap the group was about 100m behind me..I slowed down but they dont seem to catch up....i realised..that i broke away alone for 2 laps and going into te group means i get nothing at all!!! I got focused and continue riding as hard as i can...even after the sprint they werent around...so i just rode and rode....till reaching the next lap i turned back and saw 5riders chasing... I joined into that group. 2vietnames from a same team,1 another team,1 kazakhstan ,1kedai(Maziah) and me....we did speedwork to maintain the pace so the rest behind would not catch up...

2nd sprint i couldnt sprint anymore due to lack of training my quads were pulling....I had to stay on light gear....and take it easy...sit sprinting. 3rd sprint even worse got 3rd and last sprint got nothing..i was in the bunch except that i was not on the firs few...they counted me as 3seconds behind....weird....real weird msia commisaires...

I immediately took prize and rode back...showered and ready to board the bus...all for one reason. To go for Navy interview....I did the test of 2.4km which is 6laps of 400m with the time of 12mins and 35sec..isnt fast..but 3hours of sleep,after racing, under the noon sun....hmm

I think i passed all the test but this is fulltime navy with 10years contract...

omg thats long...i thought this was Kerahan or Simpanan which means..part-time....

no recruit needed..turned out..hmm...

Well i gave my best shot...its time to decide next~!....

Now m going to bed to cont and add in my 3hours of sleep last night....

was a really long day for me...all the way from Perlis to Kuala Lumpur...about 500-600km..

i want to sleep and sleep..

Perlis again

This time around its Perlis Open?...or m not sure what is it really called
It will be starting at 3pm ..road race...80-90km plus not sure of the exact distance.
There are riders from Vietnam,Kazakhstan,Laos and maybe Uzbekistan....

This time it will be under23 and only women as well...surprisingly first time a race is made just for woman...I think the sport will be improving by the way its going... I mean finally looking into some races for woman...
but then again whynot just open...we have only a few above 23...its my final year of 23 anywayz..
Will try to get some pictures and upload it ..
and the best part is...internship is finally over...
i see a thread of good things coming in my way...studying part time at lim kok wing under sports, navy selection which allows me to get more money monthly....
okay2..stay focus for the race now...

Long week finally over

The slipper I purchased, feel my taste is becoming aunty.

Massive setup and hectic.

The China clients photography session.

Our Malaysian dancers from Istana Budaya and freelancers.

It's been a really hectic week for me.

Internship i was doing...is an event company

There were clients from China and it was a food business chain that had their conference in Malaysia.surprisingly the owner is a Phipino CHinese...
Looking at the chain business spread is on the east of China. It's not as wide as McDonalds@KFC

but for sure their business is growing preety well.

They serve Chinese noodles in soup, dry and these sort of chinese meals where you can actually purchase most places in China by even the roadsides. However this is made into an airconditioned place which makes it look more classy of a meal someone could have.

The first day there were dancers which were arranged to recieve these clients from china .

next day the conference starts, followed by day after another conference and that night was the dinner.

Onthe same day which was a Thursday, Clarks Warehouse sales took place at Corus hotel, Ampang. Actually situated roughly opposite KLCC, Nasi Kandar Pelita as well...

Thursday was the setup day for this sales. the were 2lorries and 1 big container they call it....

that were full of boxes and we had to trolley them

from the lorry to the lif,

lif to the main ballroom.

Then arrange them according to type,colour and sizes. These boxes comes from Thailand,Indonesia,most other countries of south east asia that are unsold. So massive arrangement have to be done!

Friday and Saturday was when the madness started....push and push omg...everyone seemed so barbaric at that moment....

standing was defenetly tiring, it felt like i did deadlift nonstop....crazy.....

I was so busy trying to remember what shoes to take,size.Loose my appetite and defenetly I would say that it was stress free.....

but Tired was the word......

Last day..about 3pm..went to the Woman's and figured...

time of the month no wonder have been so moody last week...

Slacked so much this week...but have to get back into normal routine all over again...

no time to waste....

Vril's back

yesterday night it was drizzling and I got a lil of rain..made me feel sick today...
i feel dizzy...woke up at 5plus to go to the airport..
avril's flight delay..she said its coz of...
engine couldnt start..thankfully my sister is safe!
I had my head spinning had...kueyteow+mee soup for brekky..
chee cheong fun for lunch then..
vadai for teatime...
and soon going to some treatment to loose weight..:P
I'm too full btw..was starving..
crazy starving too much sucks
tend to eat too much,
need to sleep early tonite.
by 8.30pm or I wil suffer again tomorrow

full week training

Yesterday we had a 100km ride ..8woman riders in total
the amount of woman riders certainly increased.
We did few intervals required.
In the afternoon I had another session of training then...had dinner with a friend.
today=sunday..planned to go to KLCC's convention centre where there's beauty fair...
I m just so doomed my legs are screaming...just wouldnt want to wake up and go.....figured should sleep........so I did after todays ride...
and woke up about 2pm...
reached home area about...3pm..
dead...hungry...all chinese stalls are close...
boring.
end up eating AYAMAS...chicken rice...honey roast chicken rice...
was okayla.....
as i reached home with my grandfathers rojak...
and went to say hi...he ask how much la...
I came out saying so sien to my father..and he said u seldom live at home...
shouldnt be complaining..n on n on...I said enough...
i understand,m hungry.let me eat then u can say more.....
it's just this feeling....when you're hungry you just wanna eat in peace..
no disturbance...
and questions.....
just to fill that hungry tummy...
arrrgghh........and i think he's pissed now.
should just shut up next time..or never go home when i'm hungry

FInally getting my step back

Been a while had a too long lay off
I realise that everyone has problems and how u look at things
u just have to know what u want
and work towards it and everything is going to be alright..
did road this morning.aint that far....but defenetly hurts on the hills...
m so sleepy..at work..
tommorow's another big day tocome...
i will try my best..its this august
in the teen dates
go fight go
and get what u want
:)

Who said I'm pregnant?

I was in the car otw back to the office with my colleague..
at the passanger seat from ikano after buying files and collecting the vacumn cleaner
my phone was ringing..who could it be...KATE?
hmm...regarding what this time?
my program is settled?
actually not..she asked where am I and..
i heard rumours going around,
is it true that you are pregnant and getting married?...
I got a shock of my life ....who would dare say such things?
I was never once in my life pregnant or even at the registration office to get married or
even told my mum that i m going to get married.
I would if i do so...
I wonder which kind soul did such....
My life has nothing to do with them...busybodies...
and worse is spreading rumours that are not true.
This is insane@crazy.
maybe because of this john jas been hesitating on whether i want to continue riding or not?...
I wouldnt blame him for this..
but I am so surprise.
I am 23, still studying....pregnant?NO..
I dont even have a job...
If i would to be a parent I would be a responsible one..
not this way....
WHY?all this rubbish?why?

If only

if only I was still little ,
when i make a mistake,
I can just cry and everything will be okay.
If only i can reverse time,
to patch everything back.
If only I am more patient
when I make a move.
If there's a way to make you happy,
I would.
If there's a way to be happy,
I would try.
but right now i cant think of one.
If I am free ,with loads of money.
I would go somewhere,
far far away where no one can find me.
I need to really think.
To think of what i really want.
I know i want to ride my bike,
but how am I will all this stress.
If only I feel happy.
I am lonely and sad.
I want to be alive like usual...
Right now....it has been 1month
since I have been crying.
I am so tired,
god please let me feel free and happy.
let all the evil go.
If only I can be satisfied with everything
i would be the happiest person on this planet.

I need to focus...

but we're argueing all the time.
before i could finish each sentence you always bud in...
and you say its not important so doesnt matter...
so everything i say is not important to you,
you dont have to listen?
selfish...
There have been many times that I have been patient,
more patient than the person I really am...
Who do u really love deep down inside?
Everything that hurts me has to do with a her...
and you let her...come in the way when u say its over?....
You know the truth that when she was with you, she was unsincered....
and you feel pissed...well face the fact!
She never really loved you or she'll not even do such.
She's an actress but do u want to be an actor to be comparable with her?
you can as long as you want....
I have goals in my life,
I hope that you will just stop argueing with me...
if u think that this relationship is important...
try to listen once is a while....
listening does not mean agreeing....
m just tired and drained out from all this...............
m going to be selfish too from now on....
and if there's something you need you can still tell me.
I'll try my best to help.

New Coach appointed

Now after all I've been through after many times of coach switching...
I believe its again time to change to another coach!
However ofcourse it will be good for a lot of reasons...
Fairoz Izni...developments sprinters coach is now appointed as National squad elite coach..
as an assistant for John Beasley.
The coach I had trained under to set a Malaysian record since 2006 until today.
With the help of both John and Fairoz I think I am more focused and happy.
That most things are falling into place...
Finally god answered my prayers.
I will give my full comitment to prove that I am going to make a strong comeback.
It's to determind on how I feel,
how much I still want it inside myself.
I hope this feelings stay strong within myself to achieve what I really want for this year.
I have been aiming this as because there weren't any other major races available.

Insulted

It's true that I've slacked from training...
I havent lost my appetite...
been putting on weight...
but also lost some back...
went into the dining hall this morning...
this bitch came up to me saying...
GEMUK la ko...and when u remain queit she repeated...
I answered SO?
she said GEMUK diet la...
I said to be like u ? a STICK?..
she answered kurang ajar...means I am being rude....
In the first place who started stupid thing?
I dont even know her name...
and even if I'm fat did i obstruck her life?
Why do Malaysians have such thinking?
why cant they say positive things when seeing each other...
heard your business is good or something....
instead....hey u put on weight ahh....
after years of not meeting up is that what u tell your friend?
It's crazy...and honestly insulting...
If it's a close friend I really think I would feel different over it.

someday

someday,
when i think of you,just thinking of you...
I feel a glow...in every part of you.
sometime,
when the time is slow,
fluttering around the clock so slow....
I have to make my decision soon.
seldom,
memories go apart,
life falls into place...
but we still survive the way we want it to.
because of this everything survives.
patience around the air
being small and low...
having nothing to say...
just have faith in yourself...
love yourself and fullfill your needs

life's complicated

I've been through several interview and realise it's not an easy world out there...
Life's preety challenging and we can only succeed with hardwork.
nothing comes easy.
I think god wants me to continue with my cycling career because I show good potential in it...
even though i havent been training much and everytime I think its time to let go,
there will be something that holds mc back..something that tells me be patient...
and follow your passion.
There's a time for everything .
Nothing is impossible when there's a desire...
but obviously being a model you have to be tall..
that not only comes with desire but also come with genes,natural given by god...

NEVER trust people online

Facebook/Friendster/Myspace/twitter/high5.....
whatever...never trust strangers from this...never
Someone ask for a friend request and even if its a friends friend...
and you do not know them NOT to add them.
Coz at the end of the day you never know what are they up to?
In my case.....never expect such a sneaky approach...
i thought cyclist so okay la know alot of my friends...
asked for friend request...so i added and started talking over msn..
quite often as well....so i thought okay la maybe interested in the sport wants to know more...
So i would tell roughly about my trng...what I do...
just because he ask....
I felt quite pushy at times....
ask me to go trng la...blah3.....
Also I was quite curious how he knows about our training program...
what uncle does...like so frequent....and i thought goes to joo ngans shop everyday....
I realise...it was just a blardy act...
just wants to findout about me...so that he can reveal to his gf...
I mean I dont care about his dirty tactic but if he was a genuine friend....
we have been chatting for a while online and he came to watch the track nationals,
why cant he even say HELLO/ Hi???
is it that difficult?
That shows...its pure acting....
actor to be??????????
ya.....maybe but low quality...makes me so pissed....
such a DICKhead

After Meeting with John & Kate

It was actually quite a relieve speaking to the both of them.
That there were still people that cared about me, Woman's cycling at least.
I was told to rethink to what I want because
I am at the border of to getting fitter to win or it will be over and too late forever.
At 23 its an age where you have to decide because cycling is a sport where you start fairly late childhood and early teens and excel in your twenties however doesnt even for some.
I'm giving a week to think and really think and decide.
At this moment, I just want to get out there and start riding my bike.
I feel that faster finish studying laah!!!!
but its just a matter of being patient and have the inner self motivation to motivate you.
Tell myself what I want anf go for it...
Many at times I tell my family,I am sick of cycling.so sick so fed up....but its just words from my mouth...inside my heart I love cycling. I started riding my bike with the love for it. I enjoy it...
Everytime I dont ride my bike I feel guilty inside,something is missing.
It's just the situation that makes me feel upset, down feeling, people trying to get rid of me.
I am a successful person in every area that I have involved myself in, in this life of mine.
I would never consider being unsuccessful because I am studying and training.
Are there any other cyclist studying fulltime and riding their bike?
NONE....even if they are, It's in the sports school and mostly when they get into UPM they stop, they quit because of having less time and being threatened to get thrown...or just an immediate action.
What Fairoz said in my earlier comment is so true. Life isnt easy,its tough.
But imagine if I can passover a tough situation,who gets stronger?
It's me...I will be able to face even bigger situation in life.

Is studying wrong?But why?

I thought that studying was the best thing that could have happen to me.
However it doesnt seem to be at the moment.
I havent had much time to train compared to last year.
frm 5subjects moving on to 8subjects is tough..
and having tour guiding defenetly didnt make it any easier.
If i could speak I would, somehow things doesnt work this way in Malaysia. If u speak you are wrong.
Just remain silent whatever you think.
It's sad that we cannot express our feelings as a rider.
It's sad that because of politics msian sports hasnt gone far to where it should have been right now without politics.
You have to be able to suck up to get something,
skin colour?maybe.....
It's a fact that we have to admit. I feel it..
I have been patient...
All I get is I dont have results, I dont think its true
in year 2008 I won sukma it's nothing big but still the best in the country apart from Azian who is over age for this,
3km persuit bronze in Asian cycling, Vietnam tour.........it wasnt easy but with teamates i turnedout overall 3rd n 1stage wins with 2nds..
I really dont know what to do when I realise that since last years World cup series that Woman will not be going, It was sad.
Woman's endurancewill go no where if they keep discarding old people.
Malaysia needs people with experience to the sport, with the guts.
We had a very strong team in the vietnam tour in Ho Chi Minh last year...no one sees that. Although it was just vietnam but anyone who watched the teamwork of the Malaysians would be so touched how hard we fought in the race againts the 44vietnamese.
I know that god is fair...when the time comes I will earn what I have sacrificed all this while.
I remember what Puan Zaiton told me..it made a really big impact in my decision and on how I think. I feel really motivated to fight.
Someone that succeeds the hardway will succeed truely. Fairly.
God please stay with me and motivate me, please make me a tougher person from what has and is going to happen.
Thankfully however I still have my beloved family and Mr Ribena...

My friend diagnosed kidney problem

My old time friend since I was 16years old remember the first time i spoke to him it was in the Ramadhan month. Have been my friend for 7years now. He's a very lively person and would be so anti social when I first known him. We hardly speak under the same team. However the year of his SPM his parents decided for him to concentrate more on his studies and we seldom meetup during races.
I use to call his skinny@kurus....
akibat the...kutukan..i think he goes to gym so much that he became muscular+FAT lol....ya thats what he calls me currently.
During his polytechnique days..he would complain about his friends this la that la...
How much fun they have under one roof...farting around cutting peoples underpants...etc..
this is how crazy students get living outside of their parents...
Until today we are still friends which I really appreciate.There are many times when I have no one to turn to I will ring up and start crying....through my breakups hard times with coaches or friends. Obviouslyu we do argue....and tak bercakap for long time...but after a while cakap juga...
I am quite sad to know that he went for a medical checkup which he asked me to replace him and thankfully I didnt or else he would never findout and change his lifestyle..
He has kidney problem....and might need a transplant but the doctor says to give it 3months of time to see how things workout....
hopefully a miracle would happen and it will be okay...
24years of age isnt old....so if u're young always take care of yourselves....
dont overdo something...
enjoy life with a limit....
and till then exercise to continue staying fit.:)

COngrats to Anuar Manan

TAniah Anuar....krn menang stage harini...menurut anda...
I read the past news yesterdays result of stage3 in jelajah Malaysia.
Sampai di kampung sendiri terus menang?!....
COngrats again and hope you do great in the upcoming stages

What a relieve

I finally got to speak to Mr Ribena who has been busy with his Suunto sponsor...
happy for him that he will be the ambassador for Suunto~!...
he worked so hard and earns it...
I feel so happy right now that I met him and being able to speak to him...
and tell him how i feel at work and how it affects me...
Sayang....thank you for listening to me....
I'll wait for you...
so do whatever u think is best for yourself...
You know that you are a very successful person
just like myself..*wink*

Test, Late for work

After track National's its 1week and 2days now.
Isn had testing which consist of a 5min timetrial and a 20min timetrial.
It was straineous...After a week off as suggested which i didnt...
and still i felt tired.
I am glad I did train and not just lay off.
Started at 8.05...to be exact..after here there..it finished 9.15am..
I was rushing all the doors to msn were locked no idea why.
Made me even more in a hurry...
I took a 3min bath no idea what kinda bathe was that...
i smelled good though..lol...with the amount of shampoo on my hair
n soap spread all over my body.
I just dont know to push on a cadence kinda test...for 20mins...
I love the road long distance or timetrial...
even if it's short..but long dist on the SRM machine just feels so weird..always does.
I am at work now thankfully..
Got to start that freaking diet..
i weigh KILoGRAMS of fat...
Work is stress somehow..want to finish it quick and I will have 5weeks left after this one
While I was doing my test...Azman came...n talk n talk to John...found it annoying...
After a while...Mariana and Ribena came..gave me...semangat..
but without sufficient trng m still suffering...
just officially started my training this week.

Weekend....

Ride from SUbang-PD..suyie had a puncture..good for rest

da cute lil oliver...my nephew

ika n mum@ayan's family member no ayan here tho :S

Mr Ribena & me

In the event company had my first..event at the gardens hotel...
it was a small annual company dinner by Azbil..
Japanese company that's run in Malaysia..

No pictures frm the events were taken
Saturday went to watch Ayan's sports day at MPSJ....
wow..turned black....
then...went home met uncle nam seng, chui lin cheh,...n the cute oliver..
Sunday is the nightmare...rode...200km plus even blacker but love it

wanna die now...
i havent been trng feels like shit..
n the unconstant speed makes it even more tiring......
Luckily Mr Ribena was waiting at Dengkil thought he turned of elsewhere...:(
now's time for early dinner n snooze

National Track Championships/ Concern over Woman's endurance

ALARM bells rang at the opening round of the National Track Championships at Kuala Lumpur Velodrome yesterday, but it wasn't due to the heavy rain which forced the postponement of the evening events.
Uracca Leow, who stopped training full-time since the beginning of the year to focus on studies, still proved she was the best in the country over the 3km individual pursuit, but her winning time of four minutes 20.700 seconds, which was way off her national record of 3:50.891s set at the 2006 Doha Asian Games, must have raised some concern.The 23-year-old won the gold medal with ease, way ahead of Selangor's national back-up trainee Nurul Ahmar Badeuzzaman, who clocked 4:32.615s in the final, raising more questions over where the women's endurance squad was heading.Malaysian National Cycling Federation (MNCF) competitions committee chairman Maniam Manikkam called for calm, stating that this was the very reason why such measures as the organising of the inaugural national series was done."There is no use complaining or making an issue out of this. We realised the problem and one of our main objectives of not just this series, but the increased number of track competitions for the age groups as well as the elite riders this year is to address these problems," said Maniam.
"We are struggling to maintain a solid women's squad and we admit that. But it isn't like we're not taking measures to improve the situation."The under-18 girls' 200m sprint final brought no surprises with both national back-up squad trainees under coach Fairoz Izni Abdul Ghani making the final.But Zahraa Anuwar this time had an edge over the usually powerful Jupha Somnet, with the final ending in a straight match sprint to the former.In the much awaited boys' under-18 200m sprint, Kedah's regional centre trainee Mohd Hazmir Azeman gained a huge psychological advantage when he turned in an 11.468 seconds flying lap to emerge as the surprise fastest qualifier ahead of a string of favourites led by Mohd Arfy Qhairant Amran of Malacca, the dominant force in the SportExcel National Junior Circuit this year. The other favourite, Kedah's Farhan Amri Zaid, was only the third fastest qualifier with a time of 11.946s. But the knockout stages, scheduled to be held last night, were postponed to today due to heavy rain.

RESULTS (all finals): Boys' Under-15 -- 200m sprint: Mohd Farhanis Ishak (Sel) bt Muhd Sayuti Ramli (Ter) 2-0; Bronze: Azri Ahmad (Ter) bt Amirul Fahmi Azman (Sel) 2-0; Girls' Under-18 -- 200m sprint: Zahraa Anuwar (NSC-Pah) bt Jupha Somnet (NSC-Per) 2-0; Bronze: Nurain Mahmood (BPSS) bt Siti Nursyahirah Zainol (ASZU-Pen) walkover;Open --

3km individual pursuit: 1 Uracca Leow (Sel) 4:20.700s, 2 Nurul Ahmar Badeuzzaman (NSC-Sel) 4:32.615s, 3 Masziyaton Mohd Radzi (Ked) 4:38.673s

qualifying over

hmm....the qualifying round is over...
target time set for me was 3.55min...
i did 4.20min...
crazy....SLOW...i never did such a slow time in the past 3years...
fastest outdoor time was in bangkok which is a 3.57min
fastest in msia track is a 4.05 during asian cup
personal and malaysia's record is a 3.50min at asian games
next closest time to it was during sydney worldcup just before seagames and it was 3.53min
Final was suppose to be whey over yesterday....it rained...scratch was posponed to today...and final in a while but rained again! aiyoyo...
later today will be the final of 3km individual persuit i guess...if it doesnt rain again...
on the other hand my ribena boy's team....
he got 1st yesterday leading the 2nd team 8mins behind and 3rd team 12mins behind...
it was very cute speaking to me and not moving or he will loose signal...
hope to hear from him again tonight and hopefully leading...
apparently still leading but...2nd team for today...
hopefully today will be better and tomorrow...
they'll win the overall...
sorry cant be there with you...we both just have to fight

was thinking

Last night was somehow different....

You were meeting up with your old friends etc....

I was thinking so much....

What am I going to work as..

How much longer do i want to ride my bike....

Will we get enough revenues to live moderate-rich....

I really want to ride my bike....only and not study cant wait to finish this year...

I set a target that by next year Asian Games is to win a medal...

this year however is to balance up both...isnt easy to be at Asian level...

but nothing stops me from my dreams...

If I do not succeed in Asian Games i believe its time for me to go...

That I will leave it to god....to decide...

I am sure that there will be something set up for me.......

just for me...

I just want to get married quick as well......

Coz...everything seems so good and going so smooth...

About my family....think they will accept it somehow....

the night before departure

we are going to summerset rompin tonight....
finally day came...
i m incharge of breakfast...
many things happened along the way things that were expected didnt happen n so on...
ohhh well...not my commentery ..i wasnt nervous but the whole class is..makes me even more nervous....omg...
god please guide me and hopefully it will go smoothly...
i m so sleepy too...

Avril left for France

It's passed sunday,monday now...1hour on a monday morning. The whole morning was doing my assignment which turned out to be great~!..got something done however that was just a small bit...have to go for Chap Goh Mei dinner...later today..aaarrrgghhhh...
dont like it...gather,gather and eat so much..just makes me fatter.
I dont think its happy when u eat n gain weight!!!
back to Sunday...cooked poridge with macaroni in it...coz overload of water....:P
tasted okay la....maggi poridge what...ofcourse would be tasty.ate that for both lunch n dinner.
had a nap then woke up and pack for home.
When i got home mum,dad,Avril home as well....AVril came down with her missing dog....which was found..make me so geram when i see that 'smart' dog which loves to runaway from home.
Stoning again...but thankfully i feel much better...
More motivated to get things done again...got good news from Jeanie my classmate..that 2tickets left for the Summerset Rompin trip....yay...less stress...m still trying just not sure who to ask..
dad cooked dinner...was 6dishes..Avril's farewell dinner..omg i ate alot....Fatter again....
went to the airport had Mcflurry icecream...fat again but sure feels good....
Avril is now on the flight to Paris. I know she is happy as we are for her....1st trip for 3months and 3weeks sounds like a long time but i know before we know it...we're be argueing all over again...*sisters*...miss you already Vril..:(
m getting up early tomorrow n go for a jog...
have to start pushing or i will be even fatter than obese.

my career on the bike

I really love cycling but because of god knows what politic is going on in msn....
my career in cycling is all over the place.
I can only train on the weekends.
weekdays are all by myself...I have to motivate myself to train...how is that?
Like i said before..i want and will train hard..but now?...
i feel that my coach isnt interested to train us whenever the guys arent around...
i feel really sad and left out...What happened?
Always threatening to get rid of me...and before we all know ...a new member exist without any results....i dont know...isnt for me to say anything but I have feelings too...I trained for many years to be in Elite squad...i earned it...

However...there are no races that is certain or targeted for us...women's endurance cycling is down the drain...with new people who doesnt know to race...it takes years before they gain the amount of experience....to be able to win and produce results for women's cycling...
I dare not speak out...because if I do I am wrong again...
We must just shut our mouths and look happy even if we're not...?
there have been so many riders that left...why?
Doesnt anyone sees why or survery why?
Nobody dares to speak out..because we are scared that our position in the team will be given away if we ever disagree...however any sport...will never expand this way.
This is the problem in Malaysia...

I feel really sad that this is happening...
I am so stressed out...
I really want to achieve my dream of going to olympics someday...
it's something i really want...

What if i train so hard and do not get to go for competitions?
Not send to world cups....will i ever go for olympics?
Obviously the answer is a BIG NOOOO NOO....
you need points to qualify...to be able to go.The more races more chance to qualify...
coz it's points accumulation...

I wish that God will listen and do something....
I am powerless and can say nothing...

dog missing, Tickets unsold

so far havent had a terrible day...1st terrible day of the year...like everything cant b accepted...
came back frm mamak later the night before came in closed the gate 'slam' n saw the dogs playing told them to shut up..at 7plus...mum rushed in what time u come back? you didnt lock the gate? dog missing la....
i am blur as i jsut woked-up....
n rush downstairs...went out with the other dog...didnt show anything...instead the other dog think we were going play2...coz it seldom walks thats why...
anyway..rushed to college got the sharp at 9am!
classmates were 3sitting there...i had problem and i was still on time!....how did this happen?
anyway...some arrived soon n later...things did not go as planned....
all want to have their idea....n its mayb nice but anywayz...
went promoted at annexe...got a few more friends to join us...really true friends thats joining us...
i feel so thankful that these true friends do exist...
i feel sad that the people i am close with have changed..after internship...they are so different...all smoking so much...around...they dont like it before...or mayb was just an act...
i just need...to relax but atm i cant...i dont even knowwhats going on...
i am so blur...
i skipped todays class...i cant even control myself...i am emotionally unstable..this almost never happens.
i think i just need to do whats important first...
how am i going to train tomorrow?emotionally have to be stable first

day out = super tiring

Had dinner with a friend and he asked me to go with him to cameron the next day...
so with pity i went...hopefuly to do some assignments as promised..
we reached cameron i felt like puking...and he didnt even want to stop by.
i felt so sick....neway got better after we stopped for lunch...ate KFC....eeuuww but ok la sumtimes
drove down towards ipoh side as i was feeling sick....felt okay this time
reached ipoh town i had stomach pain..went to toilet....
then parked car..as he reversed..he bang into the car behind...the guy behind say hey pay la....but actually...nothing happened....my friend said something he got scared n suddenly okay~!...lol
neway...we drove in ipoh town saying to have coffee never did,....never stopped except for tapauing starbucks..i got so mad...
then otw back want to meet some friends at awana i said they wont be able to come out...he said sure can....end up what i say is true they cant comeout!
so...they didnt come n he just kept driving back...i got soooooooo angry sit in the car all day....
remember folks if you are stressed up dont drag a friend along...if u do make sure he/she is happy with it...
finally got back to room at 9.30pm....rang both Jeanie n Zamu cant get.....so worrying.......
neway settled down ate dinner...what kinda friend who leaves u hungry?
today i went to Amelia's wedding....
feel so happy for her..remember how she always said going to get married but not sure...finally the day arrived....
Congrats Amelia...

Chinese New Year 26Jan 09

Chinese New year...is a day where family get together and eat n eat n drink and eat n drink...
i feel so fat already..
i am back at bukit jalil....too much stress at home..
i need to relax...
eve of cny..had dinner at home dad cooked all family members came...
1st day of cny when shopping with vril till...3plus pm...
that night family dinner at Kavita's mamak...near assunta hospital area...which is jalan gasing...
day2 of cny...woke up at 8.45am...get ready helpout the 'instructor' to set things...
ready for neighbours to come....barbeque started...
that night barbeque again..family came....
and today i really need to do my assignments...
tomorrow night barbeque again for friends....
wow....CNy all we do is eat n eat.....

2days before Chinese New Year

FInally the break is on,...no college,no training...alot of homework...ahahhah
however i walked the whole of bukit jalil today...1loop makes 5km...
want to loose weight thats why...haha funny...
all those cookies sure look delicious lying in the house..barbeque dinner everything is awaiting Chinese New Year.
Chinese New Year celebrated by the Chinese all over the world is very meaningful as the whole family member tries to meet up this time of the year....
Sadly there are always a handful who cant make it this time of the year either as the economy went down, flight tickets are not cheap...
hmm......I saw an advertisement for best job on earth...a holiday job for 6months long time though~!
queensland awaits an island caretaker....with the pay of 150,000aud over 6months with a house provided that has 3bedrooms...sounds so interesting...
applying,applying...how often things like this comes in our life?
it's a once in a lifetime thing i would say,experience life....
I personally love the beach,the job the adventures that awaits....
I am always ready for new challenges in life....every step that comes is a way for me to overcome it...may this year be a good year although many has said that it isnt to come.....
i believe in myself:)

sick as a dog

I am relieved that the race on the weekend was over...
obviously due to lack of trng n the returning of just trng i didnt do good...
i raced the mtb in the morning session and turned out 3rd....
ate fried rice and sausages which i packed from the canteen earlier that morning
however had a really good nap n rested well..
when i wokeup from my nap in the van ,i knew i would feel good and ready to go...
I had the motivation in me i can do it...
somehow it didnt feel that good....went to the toilet and felt nausea....
wonder why..just befor racing i vormitted and true enough the rice came out with the sausages....eeuuwwww YUCk
i still raced was so short anyway...
i didnt race well obviously.....i mean losing was partly lack of trng but feeling sick makes the whole thing worse....even if i told anyone....they would just think its my excuse...
but only god knows how sick i felt at that moment.
then cant wait for guys to be over and go home as i was feeling still nausea...
as soon as i reached home...i felt like fainting....i vormitted once again...
told mummy not joining u all for dinner because i am just not well....
i went to bed hoping to dose of n wakeup fine....
didnt turnout that way...
after 1hour i vormitted again.....
and feel like pooping but cant its now constipated...complication yea?
anyway used enema....salt water and pump....and finally pooped..what a relieved but i feel so weak now...mummy bought me jelly which i wanted..
i had jelly and some cny oranges..and went to bed.....
at 5am wokeup to toilet again n drank cold2 water.....
feels so good....wokeup at 8.30am felt dizzy...
wanted to go for accounts class but realise i wouldnt make it...
i came back to msn....went to see a doctor....and now...ate medicine...
not feeling hungry but...just weak.......
and just have to sleep i think....
i hope to be well by tomorrow..and resume training...

good news avril

I rang mas airline randomly and enquire about flight ticket to europe...thinking that i can go to Greece...;) however malaysia airlines flies closes to istanbul or turkey then! so drop the idea...
thought of Avril....since she's been complaining about people pressuring her....so ask if she wants to go to europe....it will be money but then again..very good exposure for her...i hope she makeup her mind fast so i can book the tickets.
However my 2nd internship is also coming up....
I am thinking of doing it abroad as well.....maybe in Singapore?
Would be something different yea? Ofcourse for sure....in another country ,in another region.
I always dreamed of having a chance to experience working in Singapore...
although that isnt my dream...all the way...I mean i want to get another job as well..
I am so happy no idea so happy....
Started learning French in sch..its nice yea...I want to keep fit,look good and be the happiest person on this planet earth.
ohhh also i hope i finish my assignments quick:P