the night before departure

we are going to summerset rompin tonight....
finally day came...
i m incharge of breakfast...
many things happened along the way things that were expected didnt happen n so on...
ohhh well...not my commentery ..i wasnt nervous but the whole class is..makes me even more nervous....omg...
god please guide me and hopefully it will go smoothly...
i m so sleepy too...

Avril left for France

It's passed sunday,monday now...1hour on a monday morning. The whole morning was doing my assignment which turned out to be great~!..got something done however that was just a small bit...have to go for Chap Goh Mei dinner...later today..aaarrrgghhhh...
dont like it...gather,gather and eat so much..just makes me fatter.
I dont think its happy when u eat n gain weight!!!
back to Sunday...cooked poridge with macaroni in it...coz overload of water....:P
tasted okay la....maggi poridge what...ofcourse would be tasty.ate that for both lunch n dinner.
had a nap then woke up and pack for home.
When i got home mum,dad,Avril home as well....AVril came down with her missing dog....which was found..make me so geram when i see that 'smart' dog which loves to runaway from home.
Stoning again...but thankfully i feel much better...
More motivated to get things done again...got good news from Jeanie my classmate..that 2tickets left for the Summerset Rompin trip....yay...less stress...m still trying just not sure who to ask..
dad cooked dinner...was 6dishes..Avril's farewell dinner..omg i ate alot....Fatter again....
went to the airport had Mcflurry icecream...fat again but sure feels good....
Avril is now on the flight to Paris. I know she is happy as we are for her....1st trip for 3months and 3weeks sounds like a long time but i know before we know it...we're be argueing all over again...*sisters*...miss you already Vril..:(
m getting up early tomorrow n go for a jog...
have to start pushing or i will be even fatter than obese.

my career on the bike

I really love cycling but because of god knows what politic is going on in msn....
my career in cycling is all over the place.
I can only train on the weekends.
weekdays are all by myself...I have to motivate myself to train...how is that?
Like i said before..i want and will train hard..but now?...
i feel that my coach isnt interested to train us whenever the guys arent around...
i feel really sad and left out...What happened?
Always threatening to get rid of me...and before we all know ...a new member exist without any results....i dont know...isnt for me to say anything but I have feelings too...I trained for many years to be in Elite squad...i earned it...

However...there are no races that is certain or targeted for us...women's endurance cycling is down the drain...with new people who doesnt know to race...it takes years before they gain the amount of experience....to be able to win and produce results for women's cycling...
I dare not speak out...because if I do I am wrong again...
We must just shut our mouths and look happy even if we're not...?
there have been so many riders that left...why?
Doesnt anyone sees why or survery why?
Nobody dares to speak out..because we are scared that our position in the team will be given away if we ever disagree...however any sport...will never expand this way.
This is the problem in Malaysia...

I feel really sad that this is happening...
I am so stressed out...
I really want to achieve my dream of going to olympics someday...
it's something i really want...

What if i train so hard and do not get to go for competitions?
Not send to world cups....will i ever go for olympics?
Obviously the answer is a BIG NOOOO NOO....
you need points to qualify...to be able to go.The more races more chance to qualify...
coz it's points accumulation...

I wish that God will listen and do something....
I am powerless and can say nothing...

dog missing, Tickets unsold

so far havent had a terrible day...1st terrible day of the year...like everything cant b accepted...
came back frm mamak later the night before came in closed the gate 'slam' n saw the dogs playing told them to shut up..at 7plus...mum rushed in what time u come back? you didnt lock the gate? dog missing la....
i am blur as i jsut woked-up....
n rush downstairs...went out with the other dog...didnt show anything...instead the other dog think we were going play2...coz it seldom walks thats why...
anyway..rushed to college got the sharp at 9am!
classmates were 3sitting there...i had problem and i was still on time!....how did this happen?
anyway...some arrived soon n later...things did not go as planned....
all want to have their idea....n its mayb nice but anywayz...
went promoted at annexe...got a few more friends to join us...really true friends thats joining us...
i feel so thankful that these true friends do exist...
i feel sad that the people i am close with have changed..after internship...they are so different...all smoking so much...around...they dont like it before...or mayb was just an act...
i just need...to relax but atm i cant...i dont even knowwhats going on...
i am so blur...
i skipped todays class...i cant even control myself...i am emotionally unstable..this almost never happens.
i think i just need to do whats important first...
how am i going to train tomorrow?emotionally have to be stable first

day out = super tiring

Had dinner with a friend and he asked me to go with him to cameron the next day...
so with pity i went...hopefuly to do some assignments as promised..
we reached cameron i felt like puking...and he didnt even want to stop by.
i felt so sick....neway got better after we stopped for lunch...ate KFC....eeuuww but ok la sumtimes
drove down towards ipoh side as i was feeling sick....felt okay this time
reached ipoh town i had stomach pain..went to toilet....
then parked car..as he reversed..he bang into the car behind...the guy behind say hey pay la....but actually...nothing happened....my friend said something he got scared n suddenly okay~!...lol
neway...we drove in ipoh town saying to have coffee never did,....never stopped except for tapauing starbucks..i got so mad...
then otw back want to meet some friends at awana i said they wont be able to come out...he said sure can....end up what i say is true they cant comeout!
so...they didnt come n he just kept driving back...i got soooooooo angry sit in the car all day....
remember folks if you are stressed up dont drag a friend along...if u do make sure he/she is happy with it...
finally got back to room at 9.30pm....rang both Jeanie n Zamu cant get.....so worrying.......
neway settled down ate dinner...what kinda friend who leaves u hungry?
today i went to Amelia's wedding....
feel so happy for her..remember how she always said going to get married but not sure...finally the day arrived....
Congrats Amelia...